PEP TALK

stretched out on the sheets is how i say it to myself
cos it sounds better
but
reality
is
i'm hunched over like a frightened baboon
tensed and hiding

its sleep i'm after and i'm in the right place
the rest 
is up
to the night

so
i
say
FORD, WHAT YOU UP TO?
reply
NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL
and
i
remind
myself
of how long i have nothing for FIVE OR SIX OR SEVEN HOURS

i stretch out on the sheets
breathing gentle as a fairy
and a smile twitches my mouth cos of what wonders i'm dreaming
but
reality
is
i drift somewhere inbetween and surface from that thin land 
and 
wake 
and

dont know where i am!

and doze shallow/jumping at my firt snore
and dream 
that i'm at work and keys dont fit any key holes
and everything is shiny green plastic/faces are all in shadow
and
EVERYTHING has all gone wrong

still
nights
are
better than they used to be
and
tonight
i'll
say
EIGHT HOURS FORD, A SOLID EIGHT HOURS

OF

NOTHING

and hope it feels like truth