OUTLOOK

colours 
all drained out 
another 
flat morning/like its not even a world today


email out of outlook 
at work desk/papers and seeds and mugs and papers


email some comment/some
lower case banter/some questions/some plea


to someone - throw chat into a mirror
throw chat
at
someone ALIVE


i hear about treasure hunt children and i hear about dizziness
i hear about plans and i hear about LIFE
and i imagine the faces

and i imagine the fingers
and
after a while i am no longer crushed by
the 
overwhelming claustrophobic detail
in
all 
things on the world/a world
thats
nearly 
a
world by fag break and biscuit time


and i amazon for trinkets and tat and trousers 
for 
my 
shrinking hips


and i get cool links 
and i get lists of bands
and i make fake fun plans
(all the pain the pills hold back feeling like
clogged
gutters its not time to clean out yet)
and
by
noon
or 
near noon 
or
mafternoon as i keep calling it
some life
pumps
out
me 
too/i blackberry out some words into the
ether
into
the firmament
over
the
fields and the lazy ambulance back lane


(someone calls me about coffee!)


and
by 4 PM i'm easy smiling 
and
effortless talking 
to an old
college
friend
from 20 years ago